sick ramblings

I am going to attempt to write a blog while enjoying my cold medicine.

I have no food that falls into the breakfast catagory. I am hungry. I dont even have soy milk for cereal or malt o meal. But I do have a nutrageous. yum. When I am sick I tend to make poor decicions. I went to the store and bought a red velvet cake in the shape of a boob. I ate it all. yum. I dont want to eat soup, cause thats what I will have that for lunch.

Theres nothing good on TV.

I wish I had Ice Cream. My favorive ice cream flavor was Dreyers Dremery Carmal Toffee Bar Heaven. But a few years ago it disapereared. I miss it. Actually my favorite ice cream is really a gelato. mm mm mm Pistatio. I need to go find some food. And get healthier.

I didn't know I would want you back

After a big change of direction in a persons life it is easy to stray until you find a new path. When Spencer and I separated the last thing I wanted was another relationship. Sure I wanted companionship and sexual satisfaction. And I have found those are the easy things to find. I began a casual relationship with someone I used to work with. We enjoyed each others company. There was no pressure to plan a future. But that can only last so long. And after a couple of months we became exclusive. It was still fun and satisfying... if you know what I mean :) But I got scared. Was he just a rebound? Am I really ready for a new relationship? Should I be dating around? After all I am rarely single and have a habit of jumping from one long relationship to another. So we broke up. And two months went by filled with first dates and new men. He found a girlfriend which meant the casual enjoyment of his company was not an option. I will leave a few details out of my story to spare the feelings of a 20 year old virgin girl. But we hung out and the spark was back. He was never a rebound.... I am ready to only be with one man.... and I only have the interest of dating him. What the fuck happened. The girl so happy to live the single life is willing to give up the flirting for free drinks and expensive first dates for one guy. He must be pretty special. Ok we are taking things slow. The smart thing to do. The best thing... is there is no outside influence on us telling us how to live. No in-laws secretly judging you and talking trash behind your back. Its only us. But don't expect to see me change my facebook status anytime soon. I like having a little privacy. He knows... and I know. And I AM REALLY HAPPY!