Why are bad boys so good?

IAN SOMERHALDER - my favorite TV bad boy

The truth is, typically the good girl picks the bad boy because of how he makes her feel; fascinating, needed, pursued, and good. Of course it's not that simple. There are many other reasons a good girl is drawn to an irresistible bad boy.











Charming womanizer



#1 Give and Take Needs - Good girls are pleasurs and bad boys are takers- perfect example of opposites attract or yin and yang. In love, there is always the dealer and the addict- they need each other. Good girls have a natural instinct to give and nurture and not think twice about expecting anything back. In fact, it makes them happy to give to a guy who is good at taking- they feel needed. The bad boy may also require a little extra nurturing due to a rough past and inability to love deeply or unselfishly. He is used to using what he can to take what he can- a survival mechanism or maybe a game. Either way a good girl is a prime target; being innocent, she never knows exactly what she is getting herself into.



Good girls find the good in everyone and even she sees the hurt little boy behind his bad boy facade. When she is with this guy, she is always thinking she will be the one to help him. She won't give up on him as quickly as most people will. She gives him endless encouragement, feeding his needs and hers simultaneously.







The Serial dater



#2. Bad Boys are Good...Looking, that is. Bad boys tend to be better looking- they put more effort into their appearance because they need to compensate for the lack of inner beauty and they need to attract (bait) women. Even if a bad boy isn't totally gorgeous, his status "Bad Boy" alone will captivate any woman. A bad boy image has been glamorized for ages possibly before the Marlboro Man smoked his first cigarette.



Bad boys are good at attracting an audience- they have all the right superficial characteristics (boyish, assertive, mysterious) that seem exciting and alluring for a quick pick-me-up, and you will never get to know this guy beyond his pick-up line. He's a silent tortured soul and his looks state everything you need to know about him. All these traits can be intriguing to a good girl who hasn't been around too many people like him.







#3 Bad Boys Make Women Feel....



Bad boys make women feel sexy, exciting, and free. How enjoyable a woman's sex life is very dependent on how she feels about herself when she is around someone. Bad boys will make her feel different than anyone else. Ironically, it's for all the wrong reasons.



Women's fantasies, movies, and romance novels are usually based on a rebel or bad boy- a smooth talking, confident, against all odds, and a survivor/fighter. All this makes women explore a different side to themselves as well as a secure feeling. They can relinquish and be a damsel in distress or they can be extra strong and take on this challenging man- either option is sexy. For a minute, it's like living in a romance novel; part hot sex and part drama.







#4 I just want to crack this nut



Bad boys are mysterious. Think of Johnny Depp, not necessarily classified as a bad boy- not with a wife and kids, but he has a quiet, artistic, somewhat tortured soul vibe to him. He is a mystery. Women love a good mystery.



If you want to know what a woman is thinking as she instinctively spots the bad boy in the room; "I wonder what his story is? Why is he that way? It's a mystery so I must find out". A bad boy may give her an awkward compliment or even say something slightly demeaning toward her, or not answer her questions directly, and this instantly draws her in. And the mystery ensues.



Men love a good chase and hunt, but women love a good nut to crack, get someone to spill the beans, and make a mystery out of nothing sometimes. Women love to make things difficult- it's the truth. We make mountains out of mole holes and mysteries out of thin air.







Dont forget about the Reformed Bad Boy;



Reformed or prior bad boys - There are a group of guys that fall into this category. Many good girls desiring to settle down, find themselves falling for a reformed bad boy, and getting married/starting a family with one. Some bad boys never become reformed and choose indefinite bachelorhood or trouble ultimately lands them in prison or dead. These are harsh facts, but I can give some credit to the bad boys that find their way out and become a better man for it.







However, one must be equally cautious in relationships with them as well. They can revert back to their old ways easily, they have a hefty amount of baggage; many ex girlfriends, trouble with the law, kids from other women, make their own rules, chip on their shoulder, and quick to anger. Bad habits die hard.



Signs of a Bad Boy



1. Appearance, appearance, appearance! Tattoos, piercings, smirk, extra sharp well-dressed OR extra tattered rough clothing.



2. Attitude- vague answers, aloof demeanor, and confident/cocky.



3. Addictions- alcohol, drugs, smoking, women, violence/fighting, dares, speed/fast cars, etc



4. Stands out in a crowd- attracts a crowd or remains by himself, either way is intriguing.



5. Make their own rule

Reach

(This Poem was written when I was 18)
I would like to believe there is someone watching out for me
Always smiling and holding out a hand,
Arms stretched out ready to catch me when I fall,
But when I trip and I'm lying on the ground there's no one to pick me up

Sometimes independence is just like being alone,
And times I want to be the one who is naive,
The innocent one that's always being looked out for,
But when I trip and fall and am lying on the ground
there's no one to pick me up

This time I need more than some space,
This time I need more than sympathy,
This time I don't need me on my knees,
Right now I need you to reach for me

I guess I', asking to feel special
And be a one-of-a-kind in your eye,
No manipulation,
Truth be told that you are there for me,
And when I trip and I'm crying on the ground
You will be there to pick me up

No solitaire, no feeling bare,
No being left in the chilling air,
Right now I need you to reach,
Reach,
Please reach for me

Sophia wants to come out and play

Love is like a magic penny, hold it tight and you wont have any, lend it, spend it, you'll have so many, they'll roll all over the floor.



That kids song that I used to sing with my friend Katie is so apparent to my life right now. Because if you hold me too tight I will disappear, but if you let this caged bird spread it's wings, the love will flow.



I want to believe you will be good to me. Treat me with respect. Tell me I am beautiful. Laugh at my jokes. Love me. But I am afraid there is a darkness inside you trying to burst out and if I don't run... it will run over me.



Sophia Rose Conti is a bad girl, who doesn't give a fuck about your feelings. She wants instant gratification and the spotlight... she does not want dumb hicks in plaid shirts humping her on the dance floor. Tonight Sophia came out. And don't you worry she will come out again. Red leather jacket? Check. Heels? Check. Tight black pants? Check. Now lets get Crunk!!

Good Advice

(spoken)
When I became of age
my mother called me to her side
She said "Son, you're growing up now
pretty soon you'll take a bride."

(sung)
And then she said
Just because you've
become a young man now
(Man now)
There's still some things
that you don`t understand now
(Son now)
Before you ask some girl
for her hand now (My son)
Keep your freedom for as
long as you can now

My mama told me
You better shop around
(Shop, shop around) a woh-yeah
You better (uh-huh) shop around
(Shop-shop around)

Uh-uh-uh

There's some things that
I want you to know now
(Uh-huh-ooo)
A-just as sure as the
wind's gonna blow now
(Uh-huh-ooo)
The women come and the
women gonna go now
(Uh-huh-ooo)
Before you tell 'em that
you love 'em so now

My mama told me
You better shop around`
(Shop, shop around) woh-yeah
You better (uh-huh) shop around
(Shop, shop around)

A-gotta get yourself a bargain son
Don't be sold on the very first one
Pretty girls come a dime a dozen
A-try to find one who's gonna
give ya true lovin
(Uh-huh-ooo)

Before you take a girl
and say "I do" now`
(Uh-huh)
A-make sure shes in love
a with you now
My mama told me
(you better shop around)

(instrumental)

Oh-hey-hey-hey

(ooooh)
Try to get yourself a bargain son
Don't be sold on the very first one
(First one, first one)
A-pretty girls come a dime a dozen
A-try to find one who's gonna
give ya true lovin'
(Uh-huh-ooo)

Before you take a girl
and say "I do" now (uh-huh)
Make sure she's in
love with-a you now (uh-huh)
Make sure that her
love is true now (uh-huh)
I'd hate to see you feelin'
sad and blue now

My mama told me
You better shop around
(Shop, shop around)

Uh-huh don`t let the
first one get you
(Shop, shop around)
Oh no, cause I don't
wanna see her with you
(Uh-huh) before you let
'em hold you tight
A yeah-yeah make
sure she's alright

Uh-huh
Before you let 'em take
your hand my son
Understand my son
Be a man my son
I know you can my son
I love it...a shop around

A long blog for a long night

When he spoke of his mother country there was pain in his voice. All the peoples suffering and lost hopes were lingering in his heart. He starred straight ahead as he spoke, as if reciting a poem to an audience. I watched his lips from the side, sitting on every word. He turned, put his hand on my cheek, and pressed his soft lips against mine. In that sweet romantic moment with a foreigner on my couch at 2:15 am I could only think one thing, "how did I get here?".

Jump back

Its Thursday. I just got home from work and was tired and hungry. 6:30pm Darci comes over. I decide I don't want to dress up tonight. I put on a long tan sweater and brown boots. 7:00pm We finish the wine from my night before. Totaling 1 glass each. I proceed to invent a new drink. 2 shots rum, 1 1/2 shots Amaretto, tom collins mix, and a splash of grenadine. Turns out to be a delicious martini that Darci named "the drunken bachlorette". After 2 of those we head to Keys on Main about 9:00pm. Upon arriving I am already feeling my drinks. I should have had dinner. Derrick met us at Keys. Derrick is a black man booty call of Darcis. He is miserable, whining like a little puss. "I don't want to hear piano players and old songs, I need music with a bass." Darci is latched on his arm like a bad habit. Being the third wheel I flag down a drunk chick that was alone at the bar. "Hey you, come sit here." Her name was Calloway Mckay, and due to her low cut shirt and rather large breasts I started calling her Boobs Mckay. Boobs and I went outside to have a smoke. There was a group of 5 cute guys. The only name I remember was Joe. Joe was wearing a plaid flannel shirt and a red beanie. He had a huge smile. The kind that make you have to smile back. We decided Keys was lame and we needed to dance. So the guys, Darci, Derrick, Boobs, and I all went to SandBar. There Joe got me a drink and we went to the dance floor. Joe, Boobs, and I danced like crazy and the empty dance floor started filling up. Darci came over. Arms crossed and pissed. She points into the crowd by the bar. Derrick was hitting on another girl. "Who cares" I said "your not dating. Have fun without him, there are a million guys here that would love to make out with a random cute girl tonight." She walked off, Joe went to the bathroom, and I lost Boobs. So I started walking to find Darci. I found Derrick instead. He pulled me aside to a quiet corner and we talked. I knew he was a player and got freaked out by her public displays of affection. Well fuck him. He doesn't deserve Darci. I went outside and found Boobs, she wanted to go to Gracies, another bar that does not have a DJ and is easier to talk to people in. I was walking to get my coat when a man grabbed my arm. He was beautiful. Dark hair that fell into his dark eyes, a gorgeous smile. "Miss, I love your boots." He shouted into my ear. "My boots? Why I am the most boringly dressed girl in here." I moved out of the isle, we were now pressed against a pillar trying to have a conversation. His name was Roberto and he was from El Salvador, only here for the Outdoor Retailer convention. My mind got back on track. I told him I was leaving and going to a better bar. A quieter one. He wanted to come along. I cant say no to that face with freckles on the nose. Darci, Boobs, Roberto, and I make it 1/2 a block to Gracies. I find Joe and the Guys sitting at a table. I leave boobs with them, and go upstairs. We find Derrick sitting alone at the bar. Darci goes to him. Roberto and I sit in a booth to talk. Darci comes over and says Derrick is taking her home. That's it, no hooking up, just an escort home safe. She will have to tell you how the night ended. It involves being stranded at a Betos while Derrick ate and babysat Boobs McKay. We sat and talked until the lights came on. " I have to get home." I said. Roberto said he would walk me home. I told him he could, but that was it, just walking. We got to my building and I was on the phone with Darci, he stood at my door not moving until I motioned for him to follow. I wanted to say goodbye, but couldn't on the phone. So I logically invited him in. I gave him a tour and we sat and talked on my couch. I asked him about El Salvador and now we are back where we started. He had to leave. I told him I didn't want to be a convention hook up and he said I was better than that. At the door he kissed me again. This time swaying his hips like he was doing a Latin dance. "I know we would have fun, but I have to go. You are not just a convention girl." He left.
Conclusion: Its good to go with the flow. What a good feeling he left me with. Boobs is crazy. Derrick is a jerkoff. Latin men are sexy. I love vodka collins.

A Night in Pictures

The prince and the pauper

Hypothetically speaking:
There comes a time in every single girls life when she has to choose between two men. By comparison they are both amazing people. And it feels wrong to deny either of them. But have fun and a casual relationship with one guy is easy, but if you become interested in someone else at the same time you have to choose. Cause even though you are not committed to either one it feels like cheating. So you make a pros & cons list in your head. But no one end up on top. In fact you just like them both more.
Ok so deep down you know who you want. And you dont need to make lists, but you are afraid to choose. Because by choosing it means you are breaking down your wall, letting someone in, becoming weak. The last thing I need right now is to open up my heart and get crushed. Hypothetically of course. Although when I think about it.... I dont get crushed. I deal and move on. So I guess the real question is... Who would I rather risk it with? The prince or the pauper?

Give me something

Open the skies
Part the clouds
Give me a sign
Do something
Let down the white dove that brings peace and comfort
Gather my thoughts
Smack me in the face
Just tell me what to do
Tell me what to be
And more important
Tell me who to be with
Cause I am tired of making the wrong decisions
Sure I can pick out a pair of shoes that will blow your mind
And find that album that is so good it slows time
But I get so lost in his eyes I forget where I am going
And brick by brink he is breaking down my wall
Open the heavens and tell me my path
Tattoo it on my skin so I cant forget
And every time his hands move over them
It’s a reminder
That he is temporary
I do have a destiny
And I need to start it alone
Hopefully at the finish line I will have some one to hold me
Someone who loves me
Despite of my constant confusion and dangerous curiosity
Universe I ask you now
I am running in circles
Light that fire
Give me a push
My mind is open and my heart is full
There is no time like the present
Let my adventure begin now

My mother told me, "you better shop around"

First I want to share the weirdest horoscope ever..... balls? looks like I must find some quality balls.
CANCER (June 21-July 22) There were problems with the soccer balls used in the World Cup last year. Many players felt they were difficult to control. Their trajectory was unpredictable. Brazilian forward Luis Fabiano went so far as to say that the ball “doesn’t want to be kicked.” Other players said the balls were poorly made, like those “you buy in a supermarket.” I bring this to your attention as a cautionary metaphor, Cancerian. In 2011 you will be taking part in your equivalent of the World Cup. It will be crucial to have the very best tools and accessories. You can’t afford to play with balls that don’t respond accurately to your skillful means.

I have been living like a bachlorette for months now. And I must say this relationship-girl is really enjoying it. True I love having a companion, someone to cook for. Going to bed alone is getting a little old. However on the bright side no one can break your heart if you don't give it away. Right? And although I do allow myself to get swept up in his arms and lost in his kiss just for one night... I can t get hurt. Right? No strings attached. Does that really work? All no strings attached relationships have turned into a "real" relationship after a month or so in the past. So the answer is to have a 3-4 week no strings attached relationship and move on. Right? Who knows? I am horrible at being single. Salt lake city is like a Vegas buffet of single attractive men, all waiting for me to use them for 3-4 weeks and move on. Wow I sound cold. And kind of promiscuous. But you would expect his behavior from a man, a bachelor. With a messy house, xbox live, and a beer can tower. I like to think I am more classy than that. Well who cares.

Cheers to being classy.... kind of.