Being single this time around is harder. Maybe because I have never been a single adult for long, but for some reason... fear most likely.... I am taking my sweet time. Honestly I get freaked out when a guy wants to cuddle and hold my hand. Offer me sweet kisses and introduce me to his family. I am more comfortable when he just wants to buy me a drink, play pool, and make out. Lets not talk about a future together or become boyfriend and girlfriend. Lets just enjoy each others company. Lets just be adventure seekers together. But I must warn all you men... If you get too close I will most likely run away and leave you wondering what you did wrong.
Its been a long time since someone made me want to risk heartbreak of my own. I had a sorta steady man in my life previously blogged about. And we had a great non-committal relationship. The only real problem between us is that we are both busy. When we make time for each other it is great and so much fun.
I had a great date last night. Honestly I was intending on playing with and walking away from him just like all my other recent dates. But I found myself smiling like a goof all day at work. And couldn't wait to hang out with him again. Its not love at first sight... Its just hope. This is proof that I am heeled from the stupid walk-out husband. I have been over the marriage for a long long time now, but now I believe I deserve happiness and companionship. So my eyes are open. Although I still don't feel like holding hands.... is that weird. Hand holding is scarier than sex ha ha ha. Good thing I took a vow of celibacy til June 1st... so I can clear my head and stop treating men like toys.
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