Monday, February 21, 2011

Make sure you frisk me good


this pic has nothign to do with this blog, but I like it
Six inch walker

Big sh** talker

I never play the victim

Id rather be a stalker

So baby take me in

Ill disobey the law

Make sure you frisk me good

Check my panties and my bra



"What do you want?"


What a question.

How come it is so much easier to make a list of what I dont want? Rant about annoying things and needy people. Complain about money and health care. Neglect cleaning my room. Really I need to figure this out. cause I am not good bouncing through life with no end goal in mind. I just make decisions based on instant gratification. Which dont get me wrong... is very enjoyable, but no way to live. Or is it? Cause I am sure having fun. This new way of thinking.... see-want-take is very pleasurable but has no substance.


OK here is a break down.... this week I want...


Well I want Sparks. I want Pie. I want Sushi. I want Freedom. I want Shoes. I want Fringe. I want Bones. I want Dark Chocolate. I want my Best Friend to be Happy. I want a fun confident man who hates labels and is in no hurry to start a family.



Everybody wanna know what my achilles heel is

LOVE I dont get enough of it

All I get is these vampires and blood suckers

All I see is these n-ggas I’ve made millionaires

Milling about, spilling there feelings in the air

All I see is these fake f-cks with no fangs

Tryna draw blood with my ice cold veins




Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Common mistakes WOMEN make during sex

Girls, be honest here...Unfortunately, men are not the only ones who make mistakes during sex. When our sex lives become a yawn and the latest issue of Cosmopolitan is more appealing than your man's concerted efforts to try and make your world move for you, then it's very easy to point a finger, play the Blame Game and put the blame completely on the man. You haul out your little sex crimes manual you keep under your mattress and triumphantly point to one and say, "See! I told you it's all your fault. You just ain't up to the mark and capable of making my world rock anymore." The bad news is, it takes two to tango, and your man friend is probably not the only one making mistakes. You're probably making your fair share of bedroom errors yourself. So girl, let's be honest here, which sex crime are you guilty of?

Sex Crime number one: Passive resistance

Why is it that women always believe that the man is the hunter and they are the prey and the man has to always make the first move? Like, sex is some kind of a caveman ritual, where when the man wants some, he enters your cave, and drags you to his cave by your hair and then procedes to use your body like a trampoline. Seriously, ladies, men will probably be delighted if you initiate sex and make the first move. Most of them dream about a woman coming onto them, but for many women, the chains of sexual traditions past are holding them back. It's expected that the man will make the first move. You might wait weeks with your hormones pumping, keeping your knees tightly shut as you fight for control of your body, waiting patiently for the man whose bones you want to jump plucks up the courage to make the move. My advice, don't wait. If you want it, ask for it. Show your interest by taking the first step on some occasions. It might spice up a dull sex life.

Sex Crime number two: Worrying about whether your false eyelashes will fall off So many women are concerned about what they look like during sex, that they forget they are supposed to be enjoying it. Focusing on trying to get your face to look like Debbie's in Debbie does Dallas, or like Angelina Jolie's in one of her orgasmic movie moments, will make you lose your focus on what you're actually supposed to be doing. Men don't care if your bum wobbles during sex, or about those cute little cellulite dimples on your thighs, or even if gravity has won and your boobs have dropped down to your belly button. Men just want to know that you are enjoying yourself, having fun and are enthusiastic. Enthusiasm is contagious and might even excite your reluctant lover.

Sex Crime number 3: Laughing at his dried floral arrangement Men have this thing about their little thing. They get self-conscious if someone makes fun of it. Even if his one-eyed trouser snake is the most peculiar one you've ever laid eyes on, don't giggle, laugh or give a sly smile. He will take it personally which could cause acute hydraulic failure of his dried floral arrangement, causing it to dry up permanently. And, don't ask, "Is it in yet?" That is tantamount to saying that he has such a small one you can't feel it inside you.

Sex Crime number 4: Assuming men are not romantic Many women are under the misguided impression that men are incapable of being romantic. The best love poetry penned by romantic poets have come from men. They do have a soft and sensitive side, and do keep little momentoes to remember romantic moments. If your man shows his romantic side, do not mock him or mention the romantic moment in front of his football friends. Keep it as your special saucy sexy secret.

Sex Crime number 5: Assuming that a man always wants sex Okay, this is what women believe because this is how men have painted themselves. Ever Ready Freddy. Well you know, this is a fallacy, because men do suffer from falling libido when they are under stress or tired. Sometimes, they are just not in the mood, especially when they are engrossed in a great football game on the telly. The mistake women make, is by taking a man's failure to rise to the occasion personally. Like, they can't get it up because they no longer love you. Love has nothing to do with it. Sex and love is not the same thing. Sometimes, men just don't feel like performing, they'd rather go and sleep, and it's nothing to do with the extra roll that suddenly appeared from nowhere on your belly.

Sex Crime number 6: Assuming men are knowledgeable about sex Just because a man is a man doesn't make him a sexpert. If you never tell him you hate it when he picks his nose during sex, then he'll never know to stop it. Communication is the key behind every successful sexual encounter. Talk to him about sex, what you like and don't like. Guide him, direct him, it won't just come to him through osmosis or he won't instinctively just know. Everybody is different. What his other girlfriend likes you might hate, and if you don't explicitly remind him, he might forget what it was that you liked when he gets you confused with one of his other girlfriends.

Sex Crime number 7: Being scared to explore new territory Variety is the spice of life and when you've been together with your sexual partner for a while, there are times when your man wants you to try out something new he heard about in the locker room shows, the bathroom in KFC or saw on the telly. Many women make the mistake of taking this personally, thinking that your man is only suggesting a new innovative approach to sex because you no longer satisfy him. This is not true. Of course, if what he suggests is detrimental to your health like covering you in cream when you are lactose intolerant, or is against your morals, then communicate. Tell him what you feel and why.

Sex Crime number 8: Letting Mommy into your bed So you've spent all day cleaning up food thrown against the walls by your toddler. Don't take the memories of a typical Mommy Day to bed with you, otherwise you'll not be feeling in the mood for sex. Have a hot shower, change out of your Mommy trackpants and slip into sexy lingerie. A big mistake many mommies make, is going to bed in their comfortable mommy clothes, old stretched trackpants and old faded sweatshirts and old hockey socks with a hole in the toe. That get-up is a sure passion-killer.

Sex Crime number 9: Lying still and thinking of England Some women seem to think that sex is only enjoyable for a man, and they just have to lie there, stare unresponsively at the ceiling, while their poor man pounds away trying desperately to get some reaction. Necrophilia is not to be encouraged, and lying there like a dead body is a big turn-off for a man. Don't look on sex as a duty you have to bravely endure. Rather, view sex with enthusiasm, gyrate those hips, wiggle that ass and make some noise!

Sex Crime number 10: Fear of Fellatio Fellatio is not something that only happens in porno movies, or something that hookers do in the back seats of cars down dark alleys. Oral sex is an important part of the whole sexual experience and can be extremely enjoyable and pleasurable for all concerned. If the thought of going down to the nether regions nauseates you, close your eyes, imagine you are on a beautiful beach in Venezuela eating an ice-cream. Do not make the mistake of getting too excited and gagging as no man enjoys having his best friend puked upon, or using excessive use of the teeth. This particular part of a man's anatomy is quite sensitive so taking a bite might cause bleeding and instant hydraulic failure.

Sex Crime number 11: Making him responsible for your orgasm Get over it. His job isn't just to make you reach climax, don't be so selfish. If you know what you like and need to achieve orgasm and tell him. He's probably not a mind-reader.

Sex Crime number 12: Unshaved legs Don't expect him to always be clean-shaved when hopping into bed so that you avoid stubble-burn, when your legs have sharp prickly dreadlocks that graze the skin off his shins. Shave, and trim that powder puff so that when he goes down there he doesn't think he's trying to hack his way through the Amazon Jungle!

Sex Crime number 13: Falling asleep in his arms is a sign he loves you After sex, women like to chat and snuggle and huggle and cuddle. After sex men like to roll over and sleep. I think it's a biological thing so stop trying to fight it, just go with the flow. And what's this about falling asleep in his arms. You lay your head on your arm for a while and see what it feels like. You get pins and needles, right? Your arm goes to sleep and it's pretty uncomfortable. So, don't think he doesn't love you because he doesn't want to fall asleep with you in his arms. Don't take it personally. He doesn't want you on his chest because he can't breathe.

Sex Crime number 14: Scared of getting undressed in front of him Unless you are wearing your granny panties or have unsightly stains or holes in them, then don't even consider getting undressed in the dark and diving into bed and hiding under the covers. A man wants to check out your pound of flesh, feast his eyes on your beauty, so don't kill that simple pleasure for him. Don't expect him to undress you either, while it can be romantic, men aren't as adept with bras as we are.

Sex Crime number 15: Forgetting he is more than just a penis Often we are so concerned with foreplay and how men touch us, that we forget they might also like to be touched, in places other than that little sticky out thing of theirs. Stroke his back, tickle his bum, draw on his legs, and of course, do not forget or neglect his balls. Play with them, stroke them, lick them, suck on them and bounce them together. Get to know them like you know your friends.

Sex Crime number 16: Referring to sex as making love Making love is cooking bacon and eggs for breakfast and serving it to you on a tray in bed. Don't try and romanticize sex by calling it 'making love.' The only thing you are making is funny faces and strange noises, and if you forget to use a condom - a baby. You are naked in a bed or wherever with another person. It's sex for goodness sake. Geez, get over it!

Sex Crime number 17: Faking an orgasm Forget about Meg Ryan in her most famous acting moment in When Harry met Sally. If you're not having an orgasm, don't fake it. Who are you trying to kid, seriously? And who benefits from a faked orgasm? Not you surely, because that poor bastard will be taken in and think that what ever he was doing was wonderful when it wasn't. So, faking an orgasm is cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Sex Crime number 18: Forgetting to wash Unless it was a spontaneous moment on a hood of the car parked at the picnic spot on the side of the highway, don't forget to wash down there before sex, especially if you enjoy a bit of the old cunning linguistics. During the day, women do sweat down there and by night time it can start smelling like the fish market in Busan in south Korea, which happens to be the largest fish market in the world.

Sex Crime number 19: Being overly-hygenic For a guy there must be nothing that kills a great sexual encounter more, than when a women leaves him alone basking in his afterglow, while she rushes off to the bathroom to scrub her puff and then nips to the linen cupboard to change the sheets, throwing Romeo who is trying desperately to snooze, out of the bed. Leave all that cleaning up to after he's gone, or shower together.

Sex Crime number 20: Letting happy noises inhibit you Sex is a noisy affair and there are certain times when if someone presses against your bowel, you might accidentally let a little gust of wind escape. On other occasions, you might suck in some wind making strange squelchy noises during the middle of coitus. Laugh together or just ignore your happy noises. Do not start crying, apologizing, or run from the room screaming and lock yourself in the bathroom.



As you can see, women are capable of making more mistakes during sex than men, so for those men who felt offended that I was only knocking men and making fun of them in my hub Common mistakes men make during sex - this hub is dedicated to you!

My hub Common mistakes men make during sex is no longer visible on here as men found it too hard to handle, so if you go to my relationship blog, you'll be able to read up about men's sex mistakes there!
from hubpages.com

Monday, January 31, 2011

Why are bad boys so good?

IAN SOMERHALDER - my favorite TV bad boy






The truth is, typically the good girl picks the bad boy because of how he makes her feel; fascinating, needed, pursued, and good. Of course it's not that simple. There are many other reasons a good girl is drawn to an irresistible bad boy.











Charming womanizer



#1 Give and Take Needs - Good girls are pleasurs and bad boys are takers- perfect example of opposites attract or yin and yang. In love, there is always the dealer and the addict- they need each other. Good girls have a natural instinct to give and nurture and not think twice about expecting anything back. In fact, it makes them happy to give to a guy who is good at taking- they feel needed. The bad boy may also require a little extra nurturing due to a rough past and inability to love deeply or unselfishly. He is used to using what he can to take what he can- a survival mechanism or maybe a game. Either way a good girl is a prime target; being innocent, she never knows exactly what she is getting herself into.



Good girls find the good in everyone and even she sees the hurt little boy behind his bad boy facade. When she is with this guy, she is always thinking she will be the one to help him. She won't give up on him as quickly as most people will. She gives him endless encouragement, feeding his needs and hers simultaneously.







The Serial dater



#2. Bad Boys are Good...Looking, that is. Bad boys tend to be better looking- they put more effort into their appearance because they need to compensate for the lack of inner beauty and they need to attract (bait) women. Even if a bad boy isn't totally gorgeous, his status "Bad Boy" alone will captivate any woman. A bad boy image has been glamorized for ages possibly before the Marlboro Man smoked his first cigarette.



Bad boys are good at attracting an audience- they have all the right superficial characteristics (boyish, assertive, mysterious) that seem exciting and alluring for a quick pick-me-up, and you will never get to know this guy beyond his pick-up line. He's a silent tortured soul and his looks state everything you need to know about him. All these traits can be intriguing to a good girl who hasn't been around too many people like him.







#3 Bad Boys Make Women Feel....



Bad boys make women feel sexy, exciting, and free. How enjoyable a woman's sex life is very dependent on how she feels about herself when she is around someone. Bad boys will make her feel different than anyone else. Ironically, it's for all the wrong reasons.



Women's fantasies, movies, and romance novels are usually based on a rebel or bad boy- a smooth talking, confident, against all odds, and a survivor/fighter. All this makes women explore a different side to themselves as well as a secure feeling. They can relinquish and be a damsel in distress or they can be extra strong and take on this challenging man- either option is sexy. For a minute, it's like living in a romance novel; part hot sex and part drama.







#4 I just want to crack this nut



Bad boys are mysterious. Think of Johnny Depp, not necessarily classified as a bad boy- not with a wife and kids, but he has a quiet, artistic, somewhat tortured soul vibe to him. He is a mystery. Women love a good mystery.



If you want to know what a woman is thinking as she instinctively spots the bad boy in the room; "I wonder what his story is? Why is he that way? It's a mystery so I must find out". A bad boy may give her an awkward compliment or even say something slightly demeaning toward her, or not answer her questions directly, and this instantly draws her in. And the mystery ensues.



Men love a good chase and hunt, but women love a good nut to crack, get someone to spill the beans, and make a mystery out of nothing sometimes. Women love to make things difficult- it's the truth. We make mountains out of mole holes and mysteries out of thin air.







Dont forget about the Reformed Bad Boy;



Reformed or prior bad boys - There are a group of guys that fall into this category. Many good girls desiring to settle down, find themselves falling for a reformed bad boy, and getting married/starting a family with one. Some bad boys never become reformed and choose indefinite bachelorhood or trouble ultimately lands them in prison or dead. These are harsh facts, but I can give some credit to the bad boys that find their way out and become a better man for it.







However, one must be equally cautious in relationships with them as well. They can revert back to their old ways easily, they have a hefty amount of baggage; many ex girlfriends, trouble with the law, kids from other women, make their own rules, chip on their shoulder, and quick to anger. Bad habits die hard.



Signs of a Bad Boy



1. Appearance, appearance, appearance! Tattoos, piercings, smirk, extra sharp well-dressed OR extra tattered rough clothing.



2. Attitude- vague answers, aloof demeanor, and confident/cocky.



3. Addictions- alcohol, drugs, smoking, women, violence/fighting, dares, speed/fast cars, etc



4. Stands out in a crowd- attracts a crowd or remains by himself, either way is intriguing.



5. Make their own rule




Sunday, January 30, 2011

Reach

(This Poem was written when I was 18)
I would like to believe there is someone watching out for me
Always smiling and holding out a hand,
Arms stretched out ready to catch me when I fall,
But when I trip and I'm lying on the ground there's no one to pick me up

Sometimes independence is just like being alone,
And times I want to be the one who is naive,
The innocent one that's always being looked out for,
But when I trip and fall and am lying on the ground
there's no one to pick me up

This time I need more than some space,
This time I need more than sympathy,
This time I don't need me on my knees,
Right now I need you to reach for me

I guess I', asking to feel special
And be a one-of-a-kind in your eye,
No manipulation,
Truth be told that you are there for me,
And when I trip and I'm crying on the ground
You will be there to pick me up

No solitaire, no feeling bare,
No being left in the chilling air,
Right now I need you to reach,
Reach,
Please reach for me

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Sophia wants to come out and play

Love is like a magic penny, hold it tight and you wont have any, lend it, spend it, you'll have so many, they'll roll all over the floor.



That kids song that I used to sing with my friend Katie is so apparent to my life right now. Because if you hold me too tight I will disappear, but if you let this caged bird spread it's wings, the love will flow.



I want to believe you will be good to me. Treat me with respect. Tell me I am beautiful. Laugh at my jokes. Love me. But I am afraid there is a darkness inside you trying to burst out and if I don't run... it will run over me.



Sophia Rose Conti is a bad girl, who doesn't give a fuck about your feelings. She wants instant gratification and the spotlight... she does not want dumb hicks in plaid shirts humping her on the dance floor. Tonight Sophia came out. And don't you worry she will come out again. Red leather jacket? Check. Heels? Check. Tight black pants? Check. Now lets get Crunk!!

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Good Advice




(spoken)
When I became of age
my mother called me to her side
She said "Son, you're growing up now
pretty soon you'll take a bride."

(sung)
And then she said
Just because you've
become a young man now
(Man now)
There's still some things
that you don`t understand now
(Son now)
Before you ask some girl
for her hand now (My son)
Keep your freedom for as
long as you can now

My mama told me
You better shop around
(Shop, shop around) a woh-yeah
You better (uh-huh) shop around
(Shop-shop around)

Uh-uh-uh

There's some things that
I want you to know now
(Uh-huh-ooo)
A-just as sure as the
wind's gonna blow now
(Uh-huh-ooo)
The women come and the
women gonna go now
(Uh-huh-ooo)
Before you tell 'em that
you love 'em so now

My mama told me
You better shop around`
(Shop, shop around) woh-yeah
You better (uh-huh) shop around
(Shop, shop around)

A-gotta get yourself a bargain son
Don't be sold on the very first one
Pretty girls come a dime a dozen
A-try to find one who's gonna
give ya true lovin
(Uh-huh-ooo)

Before you take a girl
and say "I do" now`
(Uh-huh)
A-make sure shes in love
a with you now
My mama told me
(you better shop around)

(instrumental)

Oh-hey-hey-hey

(ooooh)
Try to get yourself a bargain son
Don't be sold on the very first one
(First one, first one)
A-pretty girls come a dime a dozen
A-try to find one who's gonna
give ya true lovin'
(Uh-huh-ooo)

Before you take a girl
and say "I do" now (uh-huh)
Make sure she's in
love with-a you now (uh-huh)
Make sure that her
love is true now (uh-huh)
I'd hate to see you feelin'
sad and blue now

My mama told me
You better shop around
(Shop, shop around)

Uh-huh don`t let the
first one get you
(Shop, shop around)
Oh no, cause I don't
wanna see her with you
(Uh-huh) before you let
'em hold you tight
A yeah-yeah make
sure she's alright

Uh-huh
Before you let 'em take
your hand my son
Understand my son
Be a man my son
I know you can my son
I love it...a shop around

Friday, January 21, 2011

A long blog for a long night

When he spoke of his mother country there was pain in his voice. All the peoples suffering and lost hopes were lingering in his heart. He starred straight ahead as he spoke, as if reciting a poem to an audience. I watched his lips from the side, sitting on every word. He turned, put his hand on my cheek, and pressed his soft lips against mine. In that sweet romantic moment with a foreigner on my couch at 2:15 am I could only think one thing, "how did I get here?".

Jump back

Its Thursday. I just got home from work and was tired and hungry. 6:30pm Darci comes over. I decide I don't want to dress up tonight. I put on a long tan sweater and brown boots. 7:00pm We finish the wine from my night before. Totaling 1 glass each. I proceed to invent a new drink. 2 shots rum, 1 1/2 shots Amaretto, tom collins mix, and a splash of grenadine. Turns out to be a delicious martini that Darci named "the drunken bachlorette". After 2 of those we head to Keys on Main about 9:00pm. Upon arriving I am already feeling my drinks. I should have had dinner. Derrick met us at Keys. Derrick is a black man booty call of Darcis. He is miserable, whining like a little puss. "I don't want to hear piano players and old songs, I need music with a bass." Darci is latched on his arm like a bad habit. Being the third wheel I flag down a drunk chick that was alone at the bar. "Hey you, come sit here." Her name was Calloway Mckay, and due to her low cut shirt and rather large breasts I started calling her Boobs Mckay. Boobs and I went outside to have a smoke. There was a group of 5 cute guys. The only name I remember was Joe. Joe was wearing a plaid flannel shirt and a red beanie. He had a huge smile. The kind that make you have to smile back. We decided Keys was lame and we needed to dance. So the guys, Darci, Derrick, Boobs, and I all went to SandBar. There Joe got me a drink and we went to the dance floor. Joe, Boobs, and I danced like crazy and the empty dance floor started filling up. Darci came over. Arms crossed and pissed. She points into the crowd by the bar. Derrick was hitting on another girl. "Who cares" I said "your not dating. Have fun without him, there are a million guys here that would love to make out with a random cute girl tonight." She walked off, Joe went to the bathroom, and I lost Boobs. So I started walking to find Darci. I found Derrick instead. He pulled me aside to a quiet corner and we talked. I knew he was a player and got freaked out by her public displays of affection. Well fuck him. He doesn't deserve Darci. I went outside and found Boobs, she wanted to go to Gracies, another bar that does not have a DJ and is easier to talk to people in. I was walking to get my coat when a man grabbed my arm. He was beautiful. Dark hair that fell into his dark eyes, a gorgeous smile. "Miss, I love your boots." He shouted into my ear. "My boots? Why I am the most boringly dressed girl in here." I moved out of the isle, we were now pressed against a pillar trying to have a conversation. His name was Roberto and he was from El Salvador, only here for the Outdoor Retailer convention. My mind got back on track. I told him I was leaving and going to a better bar. A quieter one. He wanted to come along. I cant say no to that face with freckles on the nose. Darci, Boobs, Roberto, and I make it 1/2 a block to Gracies. I find Joe and the Guys sitting at a table. I leave boobs with them, and go upstairs. We find Derrick sitting alone at the bar. Darci goes to him. Roberto and I sit in a booth to talk. Darci comes over and says Derrick is taking her home. That's it, no hooking up, just an escort home safe. She will have to tell you how the night ended. It involves being stranded at a Betos while Derrick ate and babysat Boobs McKay. We sat and talked until the lights came on. " I have to get home." I said. Roberto said he would walk me home. I told him he could, but that was it, just walking. We got to my building and I was on the phone with Darci, he stood at my door not moving until I motioned for him to follow. I wanted to say goodbye, but couldn't on the phone. So I logically invited him in. I gave him a tour and we sat and talked on my couch. I asked him about El Salvador and now we are back where we started. He had to leave. I told him I didn't want to be a convention hook up and he said I was better than that. At the door he kissed me again. This time swaying his hips like he was doing a Latin dance. "I know we would have fun, but I have to go. You are not just a convention girl." He left.
Conclusion: Its good to go with the flow. What a good feeling he left me with. Boobs is crazy. Derrick is a jerkoff. Latin men are sexy. I love vodka collins.