Why are bad boys so good?

IAN SOMERHALDER - my favorite TV bad boy

The truth is, typically the good girl picks the bad boy because of how he makes her feel; fascinating, needed, pursued, and good. Of course it's not that simple. There are many other reasons a good girl is drawn to an irresistible bad boy.











Charming womanizer



#1 Give and Take Needs - Good girls are pleasurs and bad boys are takers- perfect example of opposites attract or yin and yang. In love, there is always the dealer and the addict- they need each other. Good girls have a natural instinct to give and nurture and not think twice about expecting anything back. In fact, it makes them happy to give to a guy who is good at taking- they feel needed. The bad boy may also require a little extra nurturing due to a rough past and inability to love deeply or unselfishly. He is used to using what he can to take what he can- a survival mechanism or maybe a game. Either way a good girl is a prime target; being innocent, she never knows exactly what she is getting herself into.



Good girls find the good in everyone and even she sees the hurt little boy behind his bad boy facade. When she is with this guy, she is always thinking she will be the one to help him. She won't give up on him as quickly as most people will. She gives him endless encouragement, feeding his needs and hers simultaneously.







The Serial dater



#2. Bad Boys are Good...Looking, that is. Bad boys tend to be better looking- they put more effort into their appearance because they need to compensate for the lack of inner beauty and they need to attract (bait) women. Even if a bad boy isn't totally gorgeous, his status "Bad Boy" alone will captivate any woman. A bad boy image has been glamorized for ages possibly before the Marlboro Man smoked his first cigarette.



Bad boys are good at attracting an audience- they have all the right superficial characteristics (boyish, assertive, mysterious) that seem exciting and alluring for a quick pick-me-up, and you will never get to know this guy beyond his pick-up line. He's a silent tortured soul and his looks state everything you need to know about him. All these traits can be intriguing to a good girl who hasn't been around too many people like him.







#3 Bad Boys Make Women Feel....



Bad boys make women feel sexy, exciting, and free. How enjoyable a woman's sex life is very dependent on how she feels about herself when she is around someone. Bad boys will make her feel different than anyone else. Ironically, it's for all the wrong reasons.



Women's fantasies, movies, and romance novels are usually based on a rebel or bad boy- a smooth talking, confident, against all odds, and a survivor/fighter. All this makes women explore a different side to themselves as well as a secure feeling. They can relinquish and be a damsel in distress or they can be extra strong and take on this challenging man- either option is sexy. For a minute, it's like living in a romance novel; part hot sex and part drama.







#4 I just want to crack this nut



Bad boys are mysterious. Think of Johnny Depp, not necessarily classified as a bad boy- not with a wife and kids, but he has a quiet, artistic, somewhat tortured soul vibe to him. He is a mystery. Women love a good mystery.



If you want to know what a woman is thinking as she instinctively spots the bad boy in the room; "I wonder what his story is? Why is he that way? It's a mystery so I must find out". A bad boy may give her an awkward compliment or even say something slightly demeaning toward her, or not answer her questions directly, and this instantly draws her in. And the mystery ensues.



Men love a good chase and hunt, but women love a good nut to crack, get someone to spill the beans, and make a mystery out of nothing sometimes. Women love to make things difficult- it's the truth. We make mountains out of mole holes and mysteries out of thin air.







Dont forget about the Reformed Bad Boy;



Reformed or prior bad boys - There are a group of guys that fall into this category. Many good girls desiring to settle down, find themselves falling for a reformed bad boy, and getting married/starting a family with one. Some bad boys never become reformed and choose indefinite bachelorhood or trouble ultimately lands them in prison or dead. These are harsh facts, but I can give some credit to the bad boys that find their way out and become a better man for it.







However, one must be equally cautious in relationships with them as well. They can revert back to their old ways easily, they have a hefty amount of baggage; many ex girlfriends, trouble with the law, kids from other women, make their own rules, chip on their shoulder, and quick to anger. Bad habits die hard.



Signs of a Bad Boy



1. Appearance, appearance, appearance! Tattoos, piercings, smirk, extra sharp well-dressed OR extra tattered rough clothing.



2. Attitude- vague answers, aloof demeanor, and confident/cocky.



3. Addictions- alcohol, drugs, smoking, women, violence/fighting, dares, speed/fast cars, etc



4. Stands out in a crowd- attracts a crowd or remains by himself, either way is intriguing.



5. Make their own rule